


Hilarity Ensues

by tanarill



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels Being Assholes (Good Omens), Demons Are Assholes, Gen, Lack of Communication, Missing Persons, The Arrangement (Good Omens), Voicemail, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-02
Updated: 2008-04-02
Packaged: 2020-10-25 01:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20715839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanarill/pseuds/tanarill
Summary: Because Crowley is paranoid, Heaven is run by a bureaucracy, and besides Crowley would have crashed the party and gotten himself vaporized in the process.





	Hilarity Ensues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Truthwritaslies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truthwritaslies/gifts).

Crowley was a little worried.

No, scratch that. Crowley was a _lot_ worried (for purely selfish reasons, of course). It went like this: he'd been trying for two hours to get into contact with the angel and the angel, who _always_ picked up his phone, was not picking up his phone. Aziraphale had never really gotten the hang of ansaphones, which meant that every time he dialed he heard himself say, "Okay angel, it's recording," followed by Aziraphale telling him to leave a message and he'd get back to him whenever convenient.

He'd never heard it before, and he was getting annoyed.

Two days ago, Aziraphale had told him he was going out, and would he please not try to follow, this wasn't somewhere Crowley could. And then he'd . . . vanished. He wasn't anywhere on earth, unless something _really powerful_ was blocking his signal.

He was worried. If they sent down another angel, said angel would undoubtedly fuck everything up with attempting thwarting, not knowing that Crowley didn't really demon much unless he was bored and had no angel to torment. It was, as he'd said not too long after That Thing Didn't Happen, because he knew that the big one was going to be the first children against the second - and he planned to be on the winning side. Mostly, he just wore sunglasses and spoke with a slight but noticeable lisp when drunk.

He was worried because Aziraphale was just enough of a bastard to be worth liking, while everyone else he knew from Heaven had no redeeming qualities at all. Except maybe Adonakh, because any god which would let Almostageddon happen just to prove a point had to have a killer sense of humor, and that was unfortunately literal. But They didn't seem to have much to do with most of Heaven anymore.

He was worried because, really, he liked going out for sushi in small back-alley sushi bars and watching 'Zira's eyes light up when he produced a old manuscript that he'd stolen and hidden at some point.

"Dammit, angel, where are you?"

Three days later, he was seriously contemplating finding an Adam and having a serious Chat because the kid did, after all, have at least enough power, and Aziraphale called him. Mostly, he called him an idiot.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were making sure that no one got killed when they found the ark?!"

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in 2008, long before the GO miniseries was anything like close to reality, for [truthwritaslies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truthwritaslies). Thankfully, they have an ao3, which contains some of the same fic as their now-defunct LJ, so it was not hard to gift this one to the correct person.
> 
> Relearning R, which is a program language. The problem is that programming languages in general don't come with automatic spell-check, and it will throw an error if there is even one not-correct letter, while I have mastered the ancient art of ty-po. Also I have forgotten everything I ever knew about eigen vectors, which . . . I have now had the same headache for going on 24 hours, let's say, and leave it at that.


End file.
